Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Samadhan


Samadhan Dattatreya Naiyik Nagre, Bahuth Lamaba naam he…” the boy quipped..

I was on my way to office and Samadhan was my pillion rider.He has asked me for a lift to the nearby junction.

We talked a lot.

I quizzed him on his school,studies and many other things lest the journey be boring….
The boy was short for his age..he said he was studying in tenth standarad.His school was near my office and and lived three kilometers away.The boy was affectionate,like a respectfull younger brother full of energy.


Achaa.. Samadhan,what does your father do?’


‘Don’t know,he left us and married another woman’


The reply was taut,like a candidate giving an answer for an interview.It showed absolutely no emotions.

I was taken aback.
Was the kid too ignorant to realize what had happened to his family or was he used to the question; I could n’t figure.

The journey almost fell into a silence when suddenly he asked me.”what do you do?”

‘Im an Engineer,’

'Are you a computer engineer?'


'Yes im one..'

'I too want to be one…I know it is hard.
My mother works in fields and sometimes she goes as maid servant.
She is ill but still she works,I want to end that, I will study hard and be an engineer,if possible ill be a computer engineer..'

Samadhan said as he got down from his bike…

I saw his face..there was determination and hope ,ruggedness and passion…
Images of my own not so modest childhood flashed in my mind, though my family had its share of liabilities ,my parents always strived hard to get us good education and most of all…… I had a family,a family which cared for me..and loved me..which I always took for granted.

I was ashamed.I was always like all middle class boys were..nothing was enough for me..as there were people with more always around ….but I never felt lucky to have had all that I had had in my life…

Samadhan was looking at me

I hid my face behind my helmet and shook hands with Samadhan and wished him all the best..

"You are the first computer engineer who is giving me a shake hand .One day ill be like you. ...."

he said, holding my hand with all the grace he could..

The boy left excited .
I rode on…ashamed..

Monday, December 19, 2005

Ya thats right...!!


"Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio."


Jay_Leno

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Buffalo Theory



"A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And
when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving
by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.

But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."

moral of the story: keep drinking! cheers!

PS: but don't drink and drive - you might spill your beer

courtesy: THE NET

Monday, December 12, 2005

Buuzkrisss…!!!


Buuzkrisss…!!!

I hear this sound 2-3 times…..Daily.
First I though I was ‘hearing ‘ it…then I started realizing that I was actually hearing it.
When I touch an iron chair, a digital camera, a metal tap, the keys of my bike or a spoon.

My friends laughed at me….but that lasted only till the first one got a shock from me and I got the nick name ‘conductor’.

I was shocked,not just by static discharge through my body,but by the fact that such things could happen.
I was getting shocks, electric shocks from anything real to everything stupid.

I have read in newspapers and magazines about ‘human conductors’ who freely conduct electricity, people who can light bulbs and blow fuses,people who get a lightening to get refreshed,recharged..…living batteries.The frequency of my shocks of have been increasing since the past one month and I was sort of confused regarding my ‘Current Status” when I found the
The WEIRD SCIENCE database of ELECTRIC PEOPLE

“ARE YOU AN "ELECTRIC HUMAN" IN THE SEATTLE AREA? As a Seattle resident, do you get doorknob sparks even in the summer? Zap your loved ones? Kill all computers, wristwatches and light-dimmers? If so, would you be interested in playing with different ways to stop your static charges problem? I have some ideas for cures, but no victims on which to experiment! If you live in Seattle (or Tacoma, Bellingham, etc.), contact me …”

Though Im not from Seattle, I decided to splurge in and found out that im not the only one the problem.
Thousands all over the world are victims to the strange disease of Electrical Hypersensitivity Syndrome or EHS.

More research found out that having this strange disease is quite normal and the incidence of this will increase in the coming days…means more people are going to have it…

Known variously as electromagnetic hypersensitivity, electrical sensitivity, electrosensitivity, and a host of other terms, electromagnetic sensitivity syndrome (ES) is a physiological disorder characterized by symptoms directly brought on by exposure to electromagnetic fields. ES is a serious public health concern and the incidence of ES is growing.

The common cure include:

· Changing your shoe soles to another type (try leather)
· Raising the humidity in the room
· Spraying carpets, floors, and chairs with an antistatic coating
· Installing a balanced-polarity
ionizer fan
· Wearing metal-coated shoe soles (try alum. foil, but it's slippery)
· Wearing a grounded wire connected to a
wrist strap

As with the car keys, the problem can also be prevented by discharging your excess body-charge in some way that doesn't cause pain. This can be done by:

· Grabbing the metal car door as you climb out of the car.
· Holding your car keys, a coin, or a metal pen, touch it to grounded metal objects.
· Knocking your knuckles against doorknobs (fewer nerve endings, less pain.)
· Wearing a metal thimble, touch it to grounded objects.
· Installing conductive carpeting, then wearing an ankle-strap w/shoe plate.

Spin Space provides more details on this.

Its really strange..isn’t it.All weird things happening in the world

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Hilarious...

You guys must have already seen it...
but i just couldn't resist the tempatation to post it....

read on...


One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.

As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood. With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!"


"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "


Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice she said,"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....

TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"

Friday, December 09, 2005

Not alone...




Post haah…I found that im not alone in the world of laziness..
Mriga..arzoo..and lot others commented and also personally confessed their lazy selves to me…Astounded ,I decided to do a google on this and found out this….

Which sayz

‘This is a ring for the lazy, the idle, the slothful, those who waste time, those who procrastinate, those who slack off, those who would rather be napping, those who take the elevator, and those who prefer their meals to be "instant". Instead of criticizing these lazy traits, this ring celebrates them in all their slothful glory.’

Its pretty well organized considering the fact that they got a complete members list and detailed application form for becoming the ‘sloth of the month”

I also found a couple of firms with ‘Lazy “ prefixed to their names and a lot of book and musik stores….Must have got inspired from the Albert Einestein quote saying “
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking"

And then I hit upon
this guy’s publicity for his book which he says will

‘teach you how to use your laziness constructively to find smart solutions as opposed to working long and hard.’

Fred Gratzon not only conceived and wrote down the above stuff but is also an avid practioner of the “ Lazy way to Success”.the site also sports some press endorsements and testimonials.Must have worked real hard for this..

While surfin I also found:

1.lazy blogs
2.life histories of lazy people
3.lists of famous lazy people(hope to get in it some day..)
4.scientific articles exploring laziness..


and whole host of other ‘lazy ‘ stuff…

and not to forget the lazy quotes page where I found

Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things"

Say whatever…mankind is really the most evolved thing in the universe…

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

haaaah..



I’m suffering from bloggers block….
And it feels real bad when you feel like writing and you can’t..

But its not a creative dilemma that im suffering from…just lazy…

Pure
unadulterated laziness..

For the past one week I was on leave from the world…closed in the confines of my room
Battling out the syllabi for an exam..

I wanted the exam to get over very badly…I prayed. I made plans..i though of topics to write on…
Things to do…movies to watch....places to go…

And now....i just can do anything…I have clothes to wash, turn to clean the room, deadlines at office..
I haven’t shaved, pressed my clothes or polished my shoes in the past two weeks…

I feel like im dropping into total chaos..

Flipside…

I like waking up late on the cold December mornings..
Taking a puff and sip coffe and read the paper..
Browse and read at the office…
Eat heavy and sleep early..

And life ‘s easy when you can.. .


Borrow your friend’s neatly ironed shirts..
Outsource your work to some new joinee who has sky-high career aspirations….
Get anything on home delivery..

Fido dido save me…

Sunday, December 04, 2005

YO........!!




Yesterday was another great day at myproject ,mycompany when i came to realize and comprehend the full meaning of ' hard work pays'...As most of you might be knowing(in case u did not know...u know now..),we at myclient had a party at Le Meridian yesterday...We were invited through repeated mails,announcements,numerous instant messages's and the client team when they came to meet is..I was very happy at the prospect of one more oppurtunity of 'boozing...eating...n njoyin...'Of course...at some one else's expense..And Jackson's(no..not MIKE...but my colleague) performance was there too...so it became a much anticipated evening......when ..'ip-instant message' struck...when barely 30 mins was left for the buses to leave for the party...we got a multicast...
---------------------------------------------------
Message for Very new joinees: Regarding Party in the evening,:
Myclient is inviting employees, according to the Myclient-Employee list.
Earlier message from '##### " and me were due to communication gap.
So who ever joined on or after 01-Aug-2005 will not come for the party as you joined recently and your names are not in the Myclient-Employee list.
Sorry for the inconvenience
Regards,your loving team lead
#####
----------------------------------------------------
everything was gone...I had joined exactly on August 1st..but we are software engineers...we never give up...and if its for free booze......Enquires into the Devolpment team revealed that they had no such problem......Mails and ips shot from my Work Station...putting forward the case of 'unfortunate AUG 1 joinees...."arguments...requests....discussions...and at the end when only a few mins were left forthe buses to leave...another message
----------------------------------------------------
message from:Team LeadREAD AUG 1 AS AUG 28
INCONVENIENCE REGRETTED
----------------------------------------------------
the battle was won...but the war with bottles was still left....and after a " plunkada binkada" ride through Pune's horrible roads we reached 'LE MERIDIAN
'--------------------
notice:
todays special--theme -Moroccan evening with belly dance...
--------------------
wow...!!!
but the next notice was just near.
.-------------------
MyCompany DINNER AT 1ST FLOOR MAJESTIC
-turn Right and take stairs
-------------------
DEJECTED ...we sat through the meeting..but we managed to grab seats near the parlour itself.......but to be let down.....only beer was served....total dejection...low morale.....why does this world exist after all....??thoughts of various contours tunneled through my mind....why ?...why?...why?the mails,the ips's...arguments..requsets...all in vain....after all those hours of sleeping on my workstation...reading newspapers..checkin mails and.roaming around...the evening i waited for was just a formal party to congratulate people whom i did not even know...save a few exceptionally popular people like " NAIR SANTHANU SASIDHARAN'....(i know him..because he is my room mate..)names were being announced....applause...hurrahs...thronging the air...beer engil beer ....i reconciled to my fate...when suddenly..." KANNAN UDAYARAJAN'.
--------applause-------
..................
...........
.......
...
.
YES!!!!i was also a winner...a person who did it...winner of EXCELLENCE AWARD...a person who 'EMPOWERED MY DOMAIN..............it was ecstastic...motivation given on paper to all...
All those hours of sleeping, mailing...pondering....it was not in vain...I coudn't believe that sleeping over tons of documentation can eventually transform the lives ofmillion people across the world.I had empowered healthcare....The night seemed so bright...the moroccan dance too petty to bother my great thoughts about healthcare..beer gushed through my veins.....life afterall was not so bad...Later i came to know that Arun ,Bijiyos,jackson..minu..santhanu..shikha ..and a 100 others had all empowered healthcare alongwith me..in the alphabetical order ofcourse...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

WHY US DESIS CAN'T BE TERRORISTS....

I got this on the net.....

1. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights.

2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us.

3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

4. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.

5. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons down.

6. We would ALL want to fly the plane.

7. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.

8. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doingit.

9. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.and last but not least...

10. We would have all lined up to get our photograph taken by one of thehostages.


though the humour is obvious...does n't it paint a picture of low self esteem and inferoirity complex?
Is that picture right?

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Free...!!


What Does BARC (Bhaba Atomic Research Centre) do when it needs to sell radiation chambers?

Advertise?
Peddle on the street?
Door to door selling?
Give it free with toothpaste?

All this would have been better.


But no. They found another way.

Buy 1 kg meat and get 100 grams FREE!! “

This “not so important news” happened in Kerala, God’s own country and the land of 100 % literacy.
120 kilos were given out and 120 families got free 100 gram meat. About a week later these 120 families were traced back and asked to fill questionnaires regarding what they felt about the free 100 grams…the pricing, quality,taste…

Curious journos found it strange and conducted a mini investigation.
What they found was startling..

The ‘free 100 grams ‘ was “Radiated meat”.

It was a joint experiment conducted by the BARC and Kerala Agricultural University to find the feasibility of using Radiation Chambers to process meat, and develop a market for radiation chambers in the food processing industry.

Further probe found out the following:

1.A Radiation chamber worth RS 30 lakhs was “ gifted” to KAU by BARC as an advance payment of services rendered.
2.Laymen, including Class 4 employees of KAU, were operating the facility.
3.No tracking system was employed to find out the actual amount of gamma rays used for radiation.
4.The 120 families to whom the meat was “gifted” were not informed about the experiment and what they had eaten.

The issue is still under debate in Kerala with KAU/BARC on one side and the people on the other side.

I decided to do a ‘ google” on this and found out the following:

It turns out that when you hit food with these enormous doses of gamma rays (usually from cobalt-80) you create molecules called "radiotoxines". The medical world calls them "radiolytic by-products" and classifies them into two categories. Known and Unknown.

The ‘known’ category includes such neat things as formaldehyde and benzene

The ‘unknown’ category is described as "unique radiolytic products" which are chemical molecules that have never been characterized and are not found anywhere in nature.

Does it harm ?

Of course. About 30% of Vitamin C is destroyed. Milk is known to lose 70% of Vitamin A, B1 and B2 when radiated. Vitamins E, K, the entire B group, amino acids and essential fatty acids, are all known to be adversely affected.

And on eating....

Animal studies are clear. When up to 35% of the lab-animal diet was radiated, feeding studies had to be abandoned because the animals died or were unable to eat.

At the University of Illinois, the Department of Medicine fed radiated food to mice. Seventeen percent had to be killed or died because of respiratory problems so severe they couldn’t even move around their cages. They did autopsies. The hearts of the mice had enlarged to twice to three times normal, and in some cases had burst.
Researchers at the Medical College of Virginia fed rats radiated beef. All the male rats died of hemorrhagic syndrome within 34 days. They investigated the effect of hormones by castrating a group of male rats and then feeding them with radiated beef. They all died within 63 days--as did all the female rats.

So why is this happening here?

Apparently the BARC is eyeing the huge food processing industry in India. They are projecting radiation chambers as the one stop solution towards “debacterization” of food. But the interesting fact here is that BARC itself says that radiated food may get infected again if not stored in a chill tray..!!

And for this they are using their own country men as guinea pigs….even when the UN has passed resolutions against using humans for food and drug testing.

Prestigious Universities and eminent scholars all over the world have conducted research and completely disposed the idea of radiated food. Attempts to sell radiated food have been met with strong protests all over the world.

Yet in India, all this sums up to crap.... .Isn’t it time we did something?

Friday, November 18, 2005

Really??

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine are weak dilutions.
The surest poison is time.

Emerson,
Society and Solitude

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I have been tagged....!

Shikha tagged me.....


Seven things that I plan to do


1.Learn kalaripayatt

2. Be a professional shooter

3. Globe trotting

4. Own a farmhouse,ofcourse with a big farm

5. Start my own newspaper

6. Act in a movie

7. Makes lots and lots of money…


Seven things I can do


1. I can shoot Bulls eye

2. Cook

3. Fight

4. Daydream

5. Work hard and harder

6. Play the violin

7. Sing without botherations


Seven things I can't do


1. remember faces

2. Enjoy wrestling

3. Maths

4. make fun of people

5. Procrastinate sleep

6. being passive

7. live without reading the newspaper


Seven things I say most often


1. Hamme !!!

2. Che…

3. Dei..!!

4. Di..

5. Thanne!!

6. mmh..

7. Entammoo…!!!!.


Seven people I want to tag


1. Khizzy

2. Nicole

3. Sunrise

4. Mriganayani

5. Jammy

6. Rajesh

7. Chintz

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Homage....


OPINION

He deserved more…

The year was 1943,the place, University College, Trivandrum. Republic of Travancore.The Divan Sir C.P.RamaSwamy was visiting. It was a very important occasion. The authorities had made elaborate arrangements. Everything was planned to the detail. The Divan must not get any bad notions.

Sir C.P arrived. And everything went smoothly, until he set out on the routine inspection tour. On his way to the economics block he stopped in front of a Grad class. Or rather he was stopped. A short, dark man wearing a jubbah (kurta) was teaching.

‘Who is he?’ the Divan asked the Principal.
‘It ‘s Narayanan, the University Gold Medallist and first Rank Holder, he is teaching on contract service
His convocation is scheduled next week..
The Divan went back.

Narayanan’s teaching career ended the next day. His offence? He was a Harijan. He excelled enough to teach those above him in the social hierarchy. He covered his torso with a Jubbah in front of an upper caste Divan. Narayanan boycotted the convocation in protest and packed his bags for Delhi.

Fate plays strange games.

Fifty-Four years later, Kocheril Raman Narayanan was sworn in as the 10th President of Free India.
The Republic of Travancore was now part of the Republic of India. And Sir C.P was chased out of Travancore by freedom fighters.

K.R Narayanan died yesterday.

K.R Narayanan was a soft-spoken man. After leaving Travancore,he won the TATA scholarship and went on to study at the London School of Economics. He was one of the favorite disciples of Lasky, the famed economist. On coming back he joined the Indian Foreign Service.
He worked in London.,Rangoon,Tokyo,Canberra and many other places. He was the Indian Ambassador in Thailand, Turkey and China.. Upon retirement he was appointed Vice Chancellor of the JNU, Delhi..After four years he became the Indian Ambassador in United States..
In 1984 he entered politics. He won from the Ottaplam Constituency in Kerala and became a union minister. He retained his seat in 1989 and 1991.In 1995 he accepted, Prime Minister V.P.Singh’s nomination and was elected as the Vice-President of India.

In 1997,Narayanan created history by becoming the first Dalit Indian President .He won the election with 95.5% of the Electoral College votes.

Narayanan showed that he was not a rubber stamp and exercised his powers as President to the Maximum. He sent back the cabinet recommendations to dismiss the Bihar and U.P assemblies twice. He was an apostle of democracy and never allowed anything undemocratic or autocratic to happen. He also dismissed the Loksabha two times during his tenure.

Narayanan took the boldest step of his life last year when he revealed that during the Godhra riots he had asked in writing to Prime Minister Vajpayee to deploy the army in Gujarat. Vajpayee dismissed his request and what followed was one of the goriest exhibitions of communal tension.

He broke tradition, when he became the First Indian President to cast his vote in an election. This was against the convention of Presidents and Governors not voting in any election. He showed that each man had the right to support his choice.

In spite of all his achievements and contributions he is still seen as a Dalit.His academic and administrative talents has been looked over. It was disappointing to see the Times of India put just a small box news about his death, along with a caricature of the former President. They could have at least carried his picture. The channel and web news services also relegated his death to a non-issue.Even Rediff has not given due importance to the news, of course they still have “Chat with the President” link posted yesterday. The death of a former President doesn’t seem to bother them. Most have mentioned only his Dalit credentials not his achievements and contributions. They just seemed to have forgotten him. Can we imagine the media doing this in the case of Sonia Gandhi? In case of Advani or Prakash Karat?


Narayanan was eons higher than any of them, he deserved a little more.

K.R.NARAYANAN (1920-2005)

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ramabhai..

Where are the diwali sweet boxes?’

Rama bhai was asking as though askng for her rightful share in her parental property due for partition.
I was intimidated for a moment.
But soon gathered my senses to say..” We gave you two boxes Na..?”
She smiled and said…”so it was from all of you?”

“Yes!”


“I though each one of you was going to give me a sweet box”
Innocent smile.

I tried hard to hide my irritation. My roommates had accidentally given her two sweet boxes. Each not knowing that the other had already gifted her. And now she was asking me for a third!!
We were five and that meant two of us remained to face the ordeal.

I pushed my bike’s kicker hard and accelerated away.

Ramabhai is the caretaker/dhobi/kitchen aid/babysitter of our housing society.
Her services were imposed on all whether they liked it or not, ofcourse at a nominal fee.
She had three plus one kid. Three already out to face the world and one on queue.
Her youngest kid is about three months and the eldest one is already doing her summers as bhai in a neighboring household.

Her family lives in a makeshift accommodation in the parking lot. From there she rules.
The door to this ‘house’ was always open and her kids could be seen playing all the time, except occasionally when it would be closed for conjugal bliss.
Her kids never went to school. And when asked why she said,” who will look after your homes when im gone?’
Puzzled I couldn’t reply…’My Kids” She said with pride.

There was always love and warmth in her eyes. Never the subjugation of a servant, but always the authority of a mother. I often wondered why this woman took so much care of everyone, why she scolded us…. Why she advised us…..who was she to do all this…..?

I could never accept her. Not because of the feudal difference, but because I hated intrusion into one’s personal life. She was always curious about my other life. About how much I got paid. About shi. About when we will get married. About her earrings and dresses. About what not….

She would be waiting with the day’s news whenever I rode in from office. About the kids, complaints about her husband, how her back ached and so on….

But yesterday she was not there.
And I dint bother to ask anyone. Because she was no one to me …or so I thought.

I watched TV, had food, read a little and lied down

I couldn’t sleep.

Where could she be? Did she go away? Without even telling me? Without demanding some money for her travel expenses? Did the Society secretary fire her? Or did she meet with some accident? And why did no one tell me that? Did her husband… Is she dead?

Ramabhai was bothering me.

My imagination stretched me to unknown extents. I dreamt of Ramabhai’s death, her kids being shown the door. I dreamt that Ramabhai had committed suicide. I dreamt our sweets boxes lying near her dead body

The calling bell awoke me.
It must be the newspaper boy. It was 9:30.Why was he so late today?
I opened the door.

“If I go to my mothers home for a day, does it mean that you keep your doors open. What happens if someone comes and takes your TV away? You will tell my name only, I know that….”

It was a miracle. I couldn’t control my happiness.

Ramabhai.! She was scolding us for not locking our door at night.

I smiled at her.

She was evidently angry and kept on speaking.
“Are you making fun of me? Do you think Im a fool?” She snapped at me

I smiled again.

“Mausi, you look beautiful when you are angry….ek chai banake denghe?” ***

She tried hard to remain angry. I was still smiling.

Kettle kaha he?” ****


She knew where it was…and was making tea soon, blabbering about the bus journey to her village and how indecent bus conductors nowadays are.

I have read somewhere that the people who matter most to us are not the rich or famous, not the known or the knowledgeable, but those who care for us, those who love us and think about us.
We may not overtly accept it. Nor may we acknowledge everybody’s love to us the first time.

But at some point in life, we will have to, because love is not bound by any barriers. Because it always hits you back like a boomerang.

Rama bhai was love.


----------------------------------------------------
*** Will you make a cup of tea?
**** where is the kettle?
----------------------------------------------------

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Its all rotten....

I was never a higher being.

Nor am I now. But I have certainly come a longway; from the kid who hungrily looked at bakery sweets and silently romanced toys at shops, from being stupidly jealous of my friend's pencil box and angry at myself for being born middle class. I was never confident about my identity.

Where did I belong?
That was the single most piercing question that haunted me always...and still do sometimes..My family was not rich, yet it was not poor...My parents always had 'just enough money' .We were taught to respect and accept it..

We were neither of the 'so called' high castes nor off the trampled down.And I never had to wait for a social revolution.Everybody said that it had already taken place...even before my father was born.

Not that I had a Complex, but this business of accepting scarcity with dignity was too much for me..
Classic Indian middle class dilemma...
I also got my share of the collective fatigue that my community suffered from while trying to find its position in the post revolutionary social hierarchy. I just couldn't place myself.

It carved niches of insecurity in my personality..

I wanted to be poor...so that I could happily be poor.
Or nauseatingly rich. So that I could flaunt it and live life king size....

Stupid me...
I tried to convince myself for a long time that Indians should not thinklike that..
That when millions starve, you can't be ambitious..
That sacrifice is better than success..
That you shouldn't dream big...


Stupidity...
Nothing changed in this country and nothing will...
Because we got one billion hypocrites in this nation..
People who ask you to be patriotic in a caste ridden, class ridden culture..
People who rape women and celebrate durga puja..
People who put surname above qualifications....
This country is poor because it should be...
This country stinks....

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

invest....?



Its been almost two years since I started working fulltime
Believe it or not, my first job was Teaching…I was an English teacher..
I taught English to MBA aspirants…and since it was a contract job, I got paid by the hour and did not worry at all about paying taxes…I didn’t make that much..

But now I am a Techie and will have to keep aside some Moolah to feed the government unless…

INVEST….

Speaking about investment…An Insurance Agent came and met me the other day…He wanted to make my future secure,,,gift my kids( I don’t have them yet…im not even married…..!) a wonderful future..He asked me whether I had already fallen prey to another investment banker or Insurance militant….hell no..
…I thought for a while ,,mentally assessing my position
my till date investment included….

5 Black jockeys..
5 White Banyans (Tantex to be precise…Mr Thomson)
2 Jeans..
A couple of shirts and Tees..
Food…
Intoxication….
Movies…
Books…

No…
No Loans
No shares
No savings certificate
No Insurance policies
No Mutual Funds..

Yes..
Credit Card..( 3to be precise)
Pending Credit Statement… on two of them
A kaali Salary account..

‘Kannan…
I got this excellent plan for you, very small premium…very high returns…’
Just 18670 per year and you’ll get post retirement income of 25 Lakhs…2.5 Million Rupeess…
This is just the right time to invest..”

Everything was excellent…
The plan..
The agent..
The time…
Except my bank balance…

But I felt secure…
Boastmaster Miser owed me 40 Rupees..
ML owed me 50 Rupees…
I would get 90 rupees any minute….


I can demand it, ask politely or even beg for it…
And if they did not give it to me still….I can always kidnap one of them and ask the other for a Ransom
Or maybe I can kill them both and get everything…..
life holds immense possibilities….
And I can always ask Shi.. for anything…

‘This policy is excellent…..”

Deaf ears…I walked through him…arrogance personified..

Left Out...?

Nowadays I have the feeling that im really out of touch with what’s happening in the technical world…
I shudder on hearing words like ipod or GPRS enabled…

For someone who used to keep track of all silly developments and review all new products its really a letdown when you get naturally eliminated in a related discussions

Uninitiated…?
No just lost track…But I think there are many or rather a majority like me…
However I managed to find out that GPRS helps you browse anywhere with a mobile and an Ipod does many things everywhere…and feltl exhausted after being through the thingamajigs associated with each…half of which I never understood and doubt whether I will ever………

I feel ashamed when the kid next door, the hero of our area, Debashish cries out at every new AD that pops in the idiot box, he seems to know everything…Once in another sphere of time, I was Debashish, who updated the entire family on everything…

I guess this happens with all, save a few who are always alert and vigilant…or some who are always curious and ambitious…others just drift along to be carried into the future by the younger generations

Monday, October 24, 2005

Loafers of the World....



Lately I have been a little too lazy.
Lazy even to put on a shirt …lazy even to brush ,shave or bath…maybe it’s the Pune Climate..
Cold. Seems its got some weird proportional relation to my levels of activity… or rather inactivity.
Its specifically my level since it doesn’t seem to affect anyone around me…

They are all working hard and straight…
Boastmaster miser watches all the matches, sleeps late and deep, wakes up early and goes to office…
Mr. Hypocrisy is never tired; he would rather go on and on than take rest…
Same with lazy devil. Though he is called so…

Even ML who was lazy enuf to play fudball seems to have turned into a hard worker….

Its all ‘SEEMS
Maybe it seems so only..
They are only appearing as hard workers because am doing nothing…
Its relative…
I guess Einstein was right after all…and he did a. great favor to Israel by refusing their Presidency..
Else the nation would have breeded a host of lazy morons like me…

I got work at office…documents to study and also prepare for an exam…
A trap which I laid for myself…hurting my conscience, ego…mind, heart..everything..

Why is this so?

Isn’t cruel that a student needs to study to get work….
That a man need to work to get paid…to get a life….???
When will this world progress into an ideal socialistic welfare state democracy where everything will be sponsored?
I leave it to others to think about who ill sponsor…
Great minds afterall give the clue…its for the masses to interpret…..

And you all….who are out reading this….better do it…..
The future is in your hands….
Ill be watching and appreciating you…
Thinking about your sacrifices and efforts…..While I wait here in deep reflection about total revolution………

Friday, October 21, 2005

Bambai Meri Jaan




Bambai account.....

It all started Saturday morning when we boarded our bus to bambai from parihar chowk..Zooming through the express highway basking in the pristine glory of the morning sun amidst the lush greenery ofMaharashthra ...Santhanu had an insight.....Bot great men don't speak out insights...they act out thoughts...

So poor myself along with my dear friend got down at Dadar and askd the way to station..3 kind people showed us 3 different ways to dadar station...vijay and geo had promised to wait for us there...ofcourse they were waiting....but in andheri....on bed...in their dreams...But a few phone calls and some adoring words made our friends jump up from bed and board train...


soon we all were in Church Gate....meeting mumbai in all its glory..we roamed around...snapped a zillion pictures..India Gate,Taj.Madam Cama road...Colaba...the evergreen stars of Bollywood....It was great...seeing the sea after 6 months ,sitting on the marine drive chatting ....


It was around 3 or 4 when we reached Bandra Bandstand...dotted with 100's of couples smooching,hugging..doingeverything short of the final Act..It was funny to see so many umbrellas being put up for more innovative uses...A birds Eye view to the beach from the sea would have spotted a new life form..umbrellas with four legs...sheilding the world from private bliss..The couples were so immersed that inspite of knocks on the umbrella from a certain enterprising gentleman they did not botherto look up or shout....

We walked through the bandstand alongside Salman khan's Flat before we finally settled on a few benches beside "Mannat"- shahrukh khan's house....There we had the unimaginable luck of meeting a former loksabha candidate whobeleived that fornification was bad but self stimulation and satisfaction not...

He gave us a long speech on the effects of fornification and self stimulation and satisfaction onIndian economy and technological progress..It took us sometime to realize that this well dressed old gentleman was ..yes ..a liitle mad..He wouldnt leave us ....Bloody capitalist santhanu along with traitor Vijay left brandman geo and poor myself at the hands of Gaurav patil,RTD Cheif superintendend of Railways who according to himself could have become the Chairman had he fornificated......Finally we made that narrow escape promising him that we will take up and follow through his anti fornification /pro self stimulation and satisfaction campaign....


That was mannat...( was he making fun of us or was that some kind security system implemented by khan for keeping guys like us out..ahh?)we visited a few malls in the evening..casanova saheem had won a contest for typing in India's fastest SMS(Stupid Message from a Stupid)..and wasthere to redeem his prize from provouge ..Shakesphere Vinay was also there at his usual best..the same swagger..the same look..We spent the night on the terrace of the flat..sipping vodka and puffing cuban cigars....looking at lights of bambai and wondering whetherthe stars had really come down...

the next day saw the birth of a new capitalist...Santhanu..Santhanu Sasidharan....Santhanu Sasidharan nair....the one man who would have brought bombay had he had the money...though he had the mind..it seems that anything below RS 2000 is now unbuyable for the guy....Well the insight that he had on the trip was this...that money is not going to stay in has hands...My dream FD account turned into silly chitty company....buying everything and anything that came in his way..(I too contributed my part...on a smaller scale..)It was too tempting ....and we burned our pockets..


It was soon time to come back to our good old Pune with the lush green hills and plains,the cool climate and the calm breeze..We got a local bus to vashi and from there took a volvo to pune..And now back at office facing the monday morning blues..i feel it got over too fast....the trip for which we waited for the whole month got over so fast....

Bombay is highly industrialized and polluted,with people who have no time for anything..with busy trains and jammed roads,clogged drainsluxury cars ...with skyscrapers and slums...But the city does have an undeniable charm..which we can see in the smiles of all those who are there..in the chatter of taxiwallas and riksha drivers..in the slums and malls..there is that spirit...of commom love for their city...bambai....